Mrs. Hancock's Blog

Holidays, Children and those once-a-year Acquaintances!

I grew up in a Military family and many years we did not have the pleasure of seeing relatives during the Holidays (when we lived on Okinawa, for example!). Some years had us living in the States and we got to travel to mix and mingle with various relatives, some of whom we’d never met before. It was fun, but honestly a little frightening to get kisses from people that in some cases were almost complete strangers to us.

Follow up:

If you’ll be in a similar situation this year, some pre-event role playing will help. If you and your Children are going to be spending time with distant relatives or friends you see once in a proverbial blue moon, here are some fun ways to help Kids share joy, without invoking the panic some Children feel when meeting new people. I bet you can think of some things to add, as well!

• Afford Children a quick list of whom they might expect to meet and how they’re related or why they’re being included in your Holiday celebration…this will really help!
• Let’s remind our Children to be on their best behavior while a guest in someone else’s home and that speaking up and properly answering with a “Hello, my name is ____”, or “Merry Christmas” or “Thank you” when spoken to, is very important and is very caring behavior
• Let kids know that a ‘cheek pinch’, a ‘head rub’ or a big squeeze is a funny thing that can be a badge of honor with points assigned (count them up and after the celebration, give kudos and talk about how well they handled themselves!)
• Explain that a big part of the Holidays is seeing and spending time with people we like and love and how neat it is to get to know our relatives and friends better. Make it a game among your kids to see who can talk with more people and what they found out about their hobbies, where they live, how many pets they have, etc.
• Teach youngsters how to shake hands with an adult or give a buss on the cheek.
• Use a simple phrase and practice! “My name is Jason, Cousin Bill; it’s nice to meet you!”
• Remind them that when they’re with other kids, they could find out their new friend’s or relatives name and how old they are. That the nice thing to do next is to make introductions to any new arrivals or, to you and Dad, so that you too may enjoy the pleasure of meeting someone new
• If there’s been a death or divorce since last year, remind Children that their favorite Aunt Ruth won’t be in attendance this year and why. This keeps them from either finding out ‘bad news’ in the moment or asking personal questions that may upset
• Teach Children that upon exiting the get together or leaving the table we always say “Thank you for inviting us, we had fun!” or “Dinner was delicious, thank you” or even “I hope to see you next year!”

These new ways of being can stick; gently remind and know that just as we do, kids like feeling confident when they find themselves in a new situation. If you can make some time to role play before an event, your Children will have more fun and so will you! Merry, Merry!