Mrs. Hancock's Blog

23 Quick Tips for Great Social Etiquette

We thought a quick 'hit list' in a few varying areas might help. Read and enjoy!

1). As adults, we have a choice in our reactions in any given moment. Take the high road, do the adult thing; choose not to be offended, rude, petty, etc. If you’re concerned about something that was said, ask what that person may have meant if you’d like, but always stay in your power. Confident behavior is adult behavior and is very attractive to others.

2). Always be supportive of your Husband (or Boyfriend) in public.

3). Please treat service employees with respect. To do otherwise speaks volumes about you.

Follow up:

4). Keep bad-mouthing and gossip out of your life. If you’re gossiping with a friend about someone else, know she’s doing it about you to that same someone else. Try never say a bad word about someone and everyone will think you’re an angel (regardless of the truth of the matter!). Don’t fall into the trap of being a woman who feels the need to ‘share’ everything. Keep your self and your reputation safe.

5). Rule #1 of being a Mother-In-Law : Be nice to your Daughter-In-Law. If things have gotten out of hand, please speak in person at a mutually agreed to, private place. The best location is away from your home.

6). Please turn off your Blackberry or PDA when lunching, meeting, cocktailing, socializing in general. If you MUST leave it on, preface the meeting/event or discussion, etc., with “I’m waiting for an important/ emergency phone call. I’ll excuse myself if the call comes through.” Set to vibrate, unless you’re in a movie or at the theatre; they can hear you on stage! Please don’t break the theatrical flow by offending actor’s and others with your phone. Remember please, keep your cell speaking voice/volume low.

7). If you’d like to be invited to an event again, be sure to respond to the R.S.V.P. The fastest way to be taken off a list or hurt the host’s feelings, is to ignore an R.S.V.P. request. A party matters to the hostess and is typically a rather expensive proposition. Please do R.S.V.P. by the time designated.

8). Business phone calls should be returned within 1 business day. 3 tops for personal calls…no one’s so busy and isn’t that what texting may be used for? For friends: “Really running…may I call you in a few days?” “Inundated, may I ring you at 10:00pm tonight or do you need me immediately?” Texting is not necessarily appropriate for business contacts.

9). Please be careful when re-gifting.

10). Always open a gift; don’t believe the box!

11). Please ask the Gentlemen in your life to sit with their knees together when in the presence of women. We don't appreciate having to look at the "y" for hours on end.

12). When dressing, if you have to ask : “Should I wear this?”, your answer is “no”.

13). An e-mailed thank you is typically not quite good enough. Go have some fun; order stationery or print your own! Use it! Take the time to send a note; write a letter. Please remember a thank you! You will be remembered for your graciousness.

14). When chairing a fund-raiser, please hand write notes to your volunteers. A signed, form letter is fine for most donors (and their tax purposes); unless they’re a VSD (Very Special Donor).

15). There are no bad dogs, just really bad owners. Please do your best to train your dog and know it doesn’t happen over night. I have a friend whose been attending a Monday afternoon training class for now 2 years with her Jack Russell. Training takes time; but 2 years of hard work could equal 13 years of great companionship.

16). Never discuss politics or religion with strangers.…this is the same as it ever was. The way to keep best friends: keep your lips zipped. Which matters more, the opinion or your friendship?

17). The proper response to someone asking after you is “Well, or well, thank you”. “Fine, fantastic, I’m a bit tired, I’m terrific”; anything, but “good”.

18). A hostess gift is always a nice thing to remember. Buy 4 or 5 things on sale every once in a while; keep a supply of nice wine or lovely note cards on hand, this will help when you’re running behind time-wise. Keep track of what you gift to whom! Those that are thought the best mannered are the most organized, typically.

19). Be genuinely open and receptive to others. There is nothing more telling about a woman than when she’s genuinely open and kind to other women. There’s no place for jealousy among us…there will always be women who are more successful, perhaps you may think ‘better married’, better built; better educated, prettier, etc. Learn to like yourself. It is the door to liking and being happy for others.

20). If you’re over 35 please it’s appropriate to leave your mini-skirts in the closet (for Halloween) or gift them to your daughter or, favorite niece.

21), Be careful with your cancellations. People who constantly cancel on others constantly are not taken seriously in any way, shape or form. It tells us you’re not in control and puts others in a bad position with their scheduling. Emergencies are just that.

22). Never, ever tell off-color jokes that may be construed in the least bit as racist, homophobic or otherwise distasteful. You never know to whom someone is married, dating (or, sleeping with)!

23). It’s just Facebook. Don’t necessarily ruin a friendship or potential business connection because of social media--it's just not that important. “Hide” a person if necessary and, let it go. Holding on otherwise makes you seem petty.

Be a more confident you! If you believe you, your business associates or family members, are in need of a brush-up course on dining, social or business etiquette; we’ll come to you! Stress Less. Enjoy More! Mrs. Hancock’s, Inc. All Rights Reserved, ©2010 602.234.1200 www.mrshancocks.com